Simple Things

A marriage in our family has been coming completely apart at the seams. This really hasn’t been a very big surprise. Stitch by stitch it started to unravel. Along the way there was no mending of the small tears. Since those smaller tears were ignored, eventually the fabric of their marriage unraveled to a point where it was beyond repair. It has been heartbreaking to see happen.

It has also caused me to be very reflective about my own life. Before any of us begin to come apart at the seams, no matter what area in life it may be (marriage, parenting, relationships, ministry, and so on) there are little tears that begin to happen. Unsettled disagreements, resentment, callous remarks, hurtful comments, lies, neglect and any other number of “small” tears will eventually lead to destruction. We have to pay careful attention to the seemingly small stuff.

I think many times we fail to recognize those tears are there (whether we or someone else has created them) because we are too busy. The busy pace of life can sometimes throw us off course. This is why it’s crucial we take time to slow down and evaluate our lives. We need to look candidly at the state of our relationships with others. Are there small tears that are in need of repair? We can’t let life’s busyness keep us from recognizing and taking the time to repair those smaller tears. Slow down, take a breath, look around you and fix what needs fixing before it’s too late.

Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant. – Robert Louis Stevenson

Are you a big dreamer? Some people are. They have the ability to imagine the most magnificent things imaginable. They think beyond the small stuff. They go right to the seemingly impossible.

Now there is nothing wrong with that. There is a song we used to sing often at my church. It talks about dreaming big dreams, impossible things…climbing mountains…that sort of thing. It can really rev you up!

However, one of the dangers that can happen is getting stuck on the big dream and neglecting to see the importance of the smaller stuff. Or worse yet, not fulfilling the small stuff because it seems so inconsequential. We miss opportunities in finding the value in “little” things. We can end up missing out on the little seeds that eventually lead to the harvest. You can’t have a harvest without first planting those tiny seeds. Nothing comes of doing nothing.

Often I have heard moms say, “Oh, I’m just a mom.” I think I have probably said it myself back when my children were little and I was a stay-at-home-mom. Even if we don’t speak those words, sometimes the thinking is still there. We miss seeing the importance of the seeds we are planting.

My children are older now and although they still have a lot of growing and maturing to do, I can see some of the harvest from seeds planted earlier in their life. It is no small matter to be a mom. Nothing we do is insignificant!

So at the end of the day, when you look back on all that you have done, be thankful for all the opportunities you have had to plant seeds. In due time, you will reap a harvest! So in the meantime, value the small stuff!

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...a time to plant… (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 2b)

I have always led a pretty busy life. I have experienced different seasons...at one point I was a homeschooling mom, then at another point my three children were all in school and I was home, then I went back to work. No matter which season I was in, I was busy.

I think some of us have come to equate busyness with success. If we aren’t keeping busy, then we must not be accomplishing anything. And if we aren’t accomplishing anything, then we must be just wasting time. I have seen some mothers almost in competition with other mothers, to see who is the busiest because in their minds, that clearly means they are the better.

I used to have that same mindset. I had to be busier than the next person. It felt good to astonish those around me with all the things I do. Something inside me just ticked when I had my hand in all kinds of pots. The problem was some of those pots weren’t meant for my hands.

Let’s face it; we live in a busy world. We are too busy to spend time together as a family, to sit down and eat a meal together. We are too busy to talk, to get to know one another. We are busy running from one event to the next. We no longer have time for friendships or ministry. Our marriages are on the rocks and our children spend more time with friends or electronic devices than with us.

In the hustle bustle of life, we are missing out on the joy of RESTING. Not resting, mind you, in the sense that we are doing nothing, mindlessly flicking the channels of the remote. I am talking about resting in the sense that we have taken time out to spend with family and friends. We are spending time with others.

I have learned to say no, to many things simply because I no longer want to be known as the “busiest.” Instead, I want to be known as the one who took the time and had the time to nurture and develop relationships. Events, to-do lists, and schedules can wait. Relationships cannot wait. Once that time has passed, it cannot be redeemed.

If busyness has gotten in the way, pray and ask God what things in your life need to be eliminated, those things that are unnecessary and detrimental to building relationships. In turn, you will have more freedom to enjoy the things that matter the most.

~ Stephanie Romero is a wife and mother to three children. Her blog can be found at http://stephaniesromero.blogspot.com