Emphasis On Moms     

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Let's Talk About It ~ By Linore Burkard

Generally in this column  I advise parents on ways to curb media saturation within the home. If you’ve been reading my articles, you’ll know that I would never put a TV in a child’s room, or even a pc. Both should be in public areas of the house, and for the simple reason that kids can run into trouble with unsupervised access to either one. (Even adults cannot always resist the false lure of these outlets.) From horror flicks and violent pc games to chatting with sexual predators, these media are truly rife with dangers and must be controlled.   

What if you’ve pretty much covered your bases? The kids can only play electronic games that you approve; same goes for television shows and movies. You monitor all their online activities. Okay, but what if the problem is you? Dare I suggest this? Well, in my own life, there are times when I feel the problem is me. Here’s why. 

I love a good movie. Sometimes, a good review can make me rent a film that I know I don’t want to own, but I rent it anyway.  It might have a little  content I’m not thrilled for my children to see. We in my house are all movie-lovers, and we rent about six to nine DVDs a month (through an online membership for a monthly fee that is the same no matter how many movies are rented). Inevitably, even with good reviews, there are some flicks we choose that have scenes we don’t like. So, what to do? I have a few suggestions.  There are ways to fight the garbage, and all you need is a little practicality and perhaps a little bit of brain power. (Don’t worry, if you can talk, then you can do this.) 

Get Practical

First the practical: For scenes with any graphic sexual content, we use the fast-forward button. For foul language, we have a language filter. (It’s a little annoying because it deletes more than it should, but I’d still rather have it than not.  I wouldn’t want a real person in my house speaking filth--why allow it in my living room or den via TV or DVD?) 

Another choice is to to rent only G or PG movies, but frankly, there are movies rated R that I think are worth watching. The key is to read the little box on the back that tells you why a movie earned its rating. Was it violence, sexuality, foul language or mature themes? A PG-13 rating usually guarantees sexuality and I’ve seen R movies that are much less offensive than your average PG-13. So, just like when you shop for food, read the labels! 

Golden Oldies

Another option is going for the oldies. In my house we have all come to appreciate older shows that have been re-released as DVDs. Recently, we bought a disc with six episodes of “The Dick Van Dyke Show.” They’re really funny, and there is absolutely nothing objectionable in them. We have bought lots of old shows and watched them together many times. “F Troop,” “Petticoat Junction,” and even “I Dream of Jeannie.” (Don’t ask me why, but “I Dream of Jeannie” had and me and my husband laughing so long it was embarrassing! My younger kids love the show but it doesn’t make them laugh the same way. And when I was younger and actually watched it on television, it didn’t make me laugh so much, either. It’s sort of strange. Wait until you’re tired and you’ll really laugh yourself silly.) 

Let’s Talk About It 

Finally, if you occasionally see things that make you cringe or sigh, don’t just apologize to your kids. Start talking. Really. Discuss what you didn’t like and why.

      If you’re short on words or ideas, a really nifty way to get a discussion going is to find a scripture that pertains to the plot or the main character(s), (particularly easy thanks to the book of Proverbs) and discuss the film in light of the verse you choose.

      For instance, if you watch a court drama, use Proverbs 18:17. (“The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.”)

      Or, if you see a film where adultery is viewed as perfectly normal, use Proverbs 2:16-19.

      For virtually every film you watch, there is a proverb or other verse in scripture to address it. You can lead the discussion with simple questions, such as:

      How does this verse relate to what happened in the movie?

      Does the Bible condone such an action? Condemn it?

      What does it say will happen to the person who behaves in such a way?

Obviously the discussion questions will depend on the age of your children. 

      Sometimes after watching a movie that I was less than happy with, I’ll simply post a verse in large print on our refrigerator door. I leave it there for a week or so, and everyone has multiple opportunities to get its message. (In fact, I often post verses that address issues that come up, whether movie-related or not; sibling squabbles, greediness, anger, even unfriendliness have all been subjects that were tackled with scripture on the fridge door.) But I only post one at a time. Prominently. Neatly. Easy to read. Hard to miss. (Posting too many raises the danger of more media overload!)   

Hope some of these ideas have helped, and I wish you  many happy family movie nights! 
 

©2008 Linore Rose Burkard