What Kind of a Mother Are You? ~ By Dionna Sanchez

There used to be a survey/poll on the Internet that asked you to take a test and see what kind of TV mom you were the most like.  It was a fun little survey yet it could also bring out some sensitive areas and issues in our lives if it said we resembled someone who had less than desirable traits.  It does make a person think though.

What kind of a mother are you if you stop and think about it?  I think there are some key categories that mothers can be grouped in.  We have the irritable, busy, and stressed mom.  She is one that is always involved in something, always working on something, always behind on something, and is just plain busy.  I think she says, "Not now" a lot.  Or, "I've got to get this done!" to her kids.

There is the "can't say 'no'" to her kids kind of mom.  She has a hard time refusing requests or controlling little Johnny or Sally so as they grow, she gets frustrated because they are becoming more and more out-of-hand.

There is the "stage mom" or the mom who is overbearing.  She is "into" everything her kids are into.  Maybe she is the "room mom" at school, or volunteers to throw all the extracurricular parties for sports.  She likes to be in charge and she tends to push her child a little harder since whatever they do will be a reflection on her.

Maybe you are the mom who is an "enabler."  Your child can do no wrong whatever people try to tell you.  Your child knows this so they tend to run to you often with complaints and issues so that you will back them up.  Oftentimes, your child may have done something wrong but because you are afraid of them getting their feelings hurt you are teaching them that they are always right.  You're afraid.

Are you a yeller?  Do you demand a lot out of your child?  These kinds of moms expect children to exhibit perfect behavior.  Heaven forbid they get out of line at the grocery store or act a little bit like a child in front of other adults whom they are trying to impress.  You always regret your yelling later - but gosh, darn it, why can't your children behave?  You fail to see that they are just craving your love and attention.

Then we have the "fun" mom.  She is so cool.  All the kids like her.  She puts great snacks in the lunchboxes and has fun sleepovers.  She's pretty and dresses her kids in all the latest trends.  She's their "best bud."

Where do you stand within these categories?  Some of them don't sound so pretty do they?  I think a good, Godly mom can be a balance of all of these categories.  She can be involved yet know her limits and when to say "no" to things that are starting to invade too much of her family time.  She can learn some things aren't just important enough to battle and her kids deserve "yes's" sometimes instead of all "no's."  She can teach them to be respectful and generous while still being nurturing and gentle.  Honesty is important yet she never tries to be "one of the kids" realizing that her kids need a mother and that someday when they are older that friendship will come naturally as they separate from her.  She knows her kids know she "has their back" yet at the same time she has high standards for moral, respectful children and she teaches them so.

You see - a good mom can encompass all of these categories in healthy, right balances.  If you take a good hard look at yourself and you feel you are leaning more in one category than another - then you can be thankful.  You don't need to beat yourself up about it, but you can be thankful that you noticed and that God has given you the chance to correct and realign your parenting skills to a more balanced path.  Every mom makes mistakes and dips heavily into one or more of these categories at times in life.  We are human and it's hard to stay balanced when you love someone so much and want such great things for him or her.  But true love does the hard things in life at times.

We can all benefit from taking a look at what kind of a parent we are and where we might be going wrong.  We only get one chance to raise these precious kids - so it's good to get a check-up once in awhile, right?  Pray and ask God to help you and guide you as you straighten things out.  And don't be afraid to apologize to your kids or admit when you mess up at times.  They will learn great lessons from your humility and some day when they are asked what kind of a mother they had, maybe you'll be blessed to hear them say, "A GREAT one!" 

~ Dionna Sanchez is the Founder of Emphasis On Moms and a mother in progress.  You can visit her website at http://www.EmphasisOnMoms.com or her blog at http://emphasisonmoms.blogspot.com