A Traffic Ticket or a Million Buckets? ~ By Angie Maldonado

I recently attended a marriage conference at our home church where a point was made that grabbed my attention. The overall theme was honoring our mates.  Within that discussion, we specifically covered "receiving" our mates, not just accepting them. The question to us, as participants, was, "Are you receiving your mate like you would receive a Publisher's Clearing House check or like you would receive a traffic ticket?"  In other words, how excited are you in your reception of your mate and his flaws.

Let's be honest, all of our mates have some qualities we tend to receive with the same attitude of enthusiasm we have when those flashing red lights appear in our rearview mirrors.  We take the traffic ticket because we have to, but there is no thankful embrace with the officer writing it.  We may be able to get by in our marital relationships with this level of reception, but we are missing depth in relationship that can only come by embracing God's plan for marriage through receiving our spouse - the good, the bad and the ugly.  (Let me add a brief disclaimer; that God absolutely would not have you receive or embrace a mate who is abusive or is participating in an extramarital affair.  I am speaking of receiving your mate's character flaws, not sin.)

Sometimes it has taken the conviction of the Holy Spirit to show me how I have dishonored my husband - ways I have deceived myself into thinking I have received his bothersome character qualities, when all I've done is exploit them.  For instance, there have been things about my husband I have stopped addressing with him at home, yet I have poked fun at him in the company of others - under the context of humor of course.  This is not honoring to my mate and this passive aggressive attempt of acceptance is degrading.  I'm sure we could all share other tactics we use to mask our lack of true reception on our spouses.

Your spouse is a gift from God, who designed marriage (Genesis 2:18). Sometimes my children will open a gift from someone and discover it's not something they particularly wanted.  Boy do I just cringe in anticipation of their reaction.  My husband and I continually remind them to have thankful hearts no matter what is under the lid of the box.  Now this is a simple example of one human being choosing and delivering a gift to another human being.   How much more do you think our omniscient Heavenly Father has chosen a gift for you?  In trusting His sovereignty, not your own or your spouse's, you can be guaranteed the gift was meant for you.  Your Heavenly Father knows the intricate details of which you are made and His choices for you are the right ones.

Can we safely say that under the lid of all our "mate boxes" is somewhat of an educational gift?  Sometimes it is the most frustrating character qualities in our husbands that God uses to teach us and refine us the most.  He wants us as husband and wife to develop each other in our character and spiritual walk.  I realize many of you may be thinking, "But you don't understand the flaws I am dealing with" and you may struggle with this idea of "receiving with enthusiasm." And, I cannot tell you exactly how to do it.  What I can point you to is the One who can.  Ask the Lord in prayer to show you how to really receive your mate. Ask Him to change your heart where you can't see how it is humanly possible.  Fervently seek His will for you and your marriage and let the traffic ticket reception be a thing of the past.

"...but with God, all things are possible." Matt. 19:26

~ Angie Maldonado is a home schooling mom of two girls (ages 3 and 5) and an Army wife.  Her greatest goal in life is to leave a remarkable spiritual legacy to her two girls and to see them mature with hearts to serve the Lord.  She enjoys crafting, reading and of course, writing.  She is working on her first book dedicated to encouraging women to let their lights shine for the Lord Jesus.